OSU - 43, Youngstown State - 0

There's not much of a gratifying sense of victory in watching the Buckeyes pummel Youngstown State. I know YS apparently made much moolah by coming into the horseshoe and allowing us to get all second and third string on them, but yikes. I'm happy for the win, but out of respect for Tressel's alma mater, I'll use lowercase - go bucks.

WTF, Beanie? Seriously. Get well soon, Mr. Wells. We can beat USC without you, but it will be less stressful and more fun to watch with you.

Glad to see Pryor get some field time. Gladder still that he was not able to convert immediately. I know that might sound strange, wishing against automatic success of a Buckeye on the field, but I want this kid to stay as humble as possible for as long as possible.

These 12:00p EST game starts are going to kill me. But I am grateful for the Big Ten Channel for existing so I can see them. (AP Photo)

Here come the politics.

I think it's going to be MUCH harder for me to bite my tongue this time around.

Luckily for myself and everyone else, I'm too tired to fight tonight.

I ain't gonna lie ...

... I already have Buckeye anxiety in my gut, as the first game of the season inches closer and closer (2 more days!!!)

The s*#t talking has already begun at my work. (The USC fans have been coming out of the woodwork.) I was already nervous enough about the showdown in SoCal on the 13th. Now I gotta try to muster up some indignant posturing.

I was definitely less anxious coming into last season, which I can attribute largely to the juxtaposition of the low expectations put on the team last year and the overwhelming hype focused on the team this year. As any Buckeye fan knows, though, it doesn't matter how the team is ranked, how they perform, or who they beat. For all the high rankings (and this year, Heisman candidates) there will be a slip by the Bucks and suddenly "OSU sucks," "the Big Ten sucks," and "the Buckeyes didn't deserve to be where they were in the first place."

Whatev, jealous people. Stop hatin' and enjoy the game.

"Caltrans crews are soaking up the vodka with absorbent."

If by "absorbent" they mean "really big straws."

Bless her heart.

Rest in peace, Del Martin.

Now I'm even more happy than ever they were able to be married again.
As it should be.

"We don't need four more years of the last eight years."

That right there is what you call a truth.

Why I'm not out tonight

My friend planned for us to hang out all evening in the East Bay (and go to this bar he heard of that doesn't allow anyone under 30) since he was flying out really late from OAK.

And then he called last night to tell me that he didn't realize that a flight at 1:00a on a Tuesday is actually Tuesday morning, so he wouldn't be able to make it after all, since he'd be leaving in a few hours.

(hee.)

Woo.

Tavalodat mobarak - تولدت مبارک

(That's "happy birthday" in Farsi, in case you ever need to use it.)

My CA family had another one of their legendary parties last night, this time in celebration of R's 18th birthday. I knew she was turning 18, but it didn't dawn on me until I saw her that night that I had met her for the first time about a month before she turned 8. She's all grownsed up.

As always, the house and backyard were packed with loud conversations between family and friends, the smell of great food, and upbeat Persian and pop music. As always, it was a blast.

I brought my friend G, who in turn brought her husband, and they got to meet the family and then some. We also got to meet one of R's coaches (and his wife) from which we learned about Runners High. (They are screening the film at the Oakland Museum on September 5. Hopefully you'll hear more about that at a later date.)

In true good party fashion, the cops showed up around 12:30a (after the neighbors complained) and shut down the music. It was a bummer to end things so abruptly, (but it did save me from having to hear "I Kissed a Girl" for the gazillionth time.)

It sounds worse than it is.

A couple evenings ago at work, I lost my vision in my left eye. Specifically, there was a blurry spot that seemed like it was hanging out in the air about a foot in front of my eye and I couldn't see anything. I had to take a break from my computer. My vision returned as normal 20 minutes later, but I decided that maybe it was time to go in for my annual vision check-up (that I'd skipped the year before.) I made my appointment and pretty much figured my contact/glasses free lifestyle had come to an end.

Happily, testing complete, my vision is 20/20 and, as my eye doctor said, "People pay a lot of money to have eyes as good as yours."

As for the blur, she said it was an ocular migraine. Too much work. Too much stress. I need to heed my own advice about taking breaks that I dole out to all employees. And since I don't have them regularly, she doesn't anticipate they will be a consistent part of my life.

Oh, and she said I'll probably need reading glasses in about 10 years.

May the force be with him.

I give you Yoda, the cat with four ears.

(Thanks to J for the link.)

My genetics are good for a week, tops.

Either that or they straight up switched out LT for a Cambodian baby since they were alarmed at how much she looked like me.

Damn, she's really effing cute. But she really wishes they undo that top button and let her breathe.

I'm waiting for the Wheaties box

But this will do for now.

The cultural exchange

We've got some employees visiting from our parent companies in Japan and the cultural exchange has begun, particularly at a BBQ yesterday.

I'm just not sure how important teaching "ghetto booty" and "watermelon alcohol" will be in the grand scheme of things.

Habitat for Humanity

I spent my third year with co-workers working for Habitat for Humanity yesterday. We've been at the same location each year, working on a different home each time. It's always a trip to go back each year and see the home we'd worked on (nearly) completed.

After a few years of pouring concrete, hanging siding, and such, this year there was lots of painting, digging, and miscellaneous clean-up on my agenda. Another part of our crew spent most of the day working with insulation, but there was no way I was going to subject my lungs to that for the day.

We were cloaked in fog for most of the day, but emerged for drinks at the end of the day (in a familiar place) with pink faces (and sore bodies.) The site on which we've been working will be finished in the next few months, so we'll be at a new one in '09. I think we're all looking forward to building in a new place next year.

Have I mentioned how much I love my hot tub?

You go, girls.

(AP Photo)

Despite some effed up scoring, the American ladies landed gold and silver in the all-around.

My first gay wedding (brought to you by Fisher Price)

After seeing the celebrations from afar, I was honored to be invited to attend the reception for J & T today. They were married early in the afternoon, and I was one of the lucky ones spending the evening with them, their family, and their friends.

The event was amazing and classy on a level that made me go "how exactly did I get on this guest list?" The best friend of J's boss offered up (nay, insisted that) her home be used for the event. Her home is a swanky penthouse on Steiner Street with 360 degree views of San Francisco. A de-luxe apartment in the sky, if you will.

As I entered, we were buzzed in by the doorman and led to a gorgeous elevator (yes, it had a bench) at the end of the building. And as we stepped into the penthouse, we were greeted by staff offering a tray of either champaign or wine. The delicious food was catered by (holy crap!) Chez Panisse. The owner of the home has an amazing, abundant, and expensive collection of photographs lining the wall and immaculate decor everywhere else. (At one point J and I deduced that they probably didn't buy any of their tchotchkes at Target.)

(New rating system: Is it nice, or is it 12th floor Steiner nice?)

After some words from friends and J & T themselves, an excellent quartet (three violins and a cello) played. Just before they began, one of the violinists told a moving story about one of the first events at which he'd played. He said he had just arrived in CA from Cleveland and was playing at a commitment ceremony for two gay men. He'd not really settled on how he felt about the issue politically, but that thanks to his proximity to the grooms during the ceremony, he didn't have to think about it much. All he had to do was see how the two of them were looking at each other and he realized that that's what the union should be about. Amen. *insert tears here*

Since they have been cohabitating for eons, (they've been together for 13 years, I think) in lieu of presents, J & T asked guests to donate to Equality California. Among other things, that group fights to help make sure that legalized gay marriage remains an option. Again, amen.

This one's about the Olympics (and has no baby photos)

I have long speculated that I was so excessively (and unnecessarily) full of sunshine and buttercups from K-12 (for the N.A. Eagles) that I used up all my school spirit. Outside of my manic displays during Ohio State football season, no one who knows me now ever believes I was a (proud) cheerleader.

One of the only other events that brings out my mental poms-pons is the Olympics. Every four years, I think I'm too jaded to feel invested. And every four years I find myself glued to the television, rooting for team U.S. and taking in the melodrama of the Olympic back stories.

I really didn't think I would be sucked in this year. That all went out the window, really, when the opening ceremonies started. And the events have had me riveted so far.

• The swimmers? Give me a break, Michael Phelps. Damn.

• The 4 x 100 freestyle relay Sunday night? Holy crap! I was jumping up and down, screaming in my room as they came into the wall. (Re-live it in all its glory here.)

• The men's gymnastics Monday night? I was so stoked for the U.S. team, winning a bronze after essentially being regarded as the Bad News Bears once the Hamm brothers dropped out. (I was hollarin' during Horton's and Spring's insane high bar routines and I think Artemev is the only person who has ever made me care about watching pommel horse.)

I've sampled a little bit of everything, from soccer to archery, synchronized diving (who invented that?) to beach volleyball. The only thing I can unequivocally say I still don't get is equestrian. I tried to pick up the cues, but just couldn't figure out what constituted a good ride. After watching a few, I finally just decided that staying on the horse was good and called it a day.

It's disarming how much she looks like us.

This right here could be one of my baby photos.

I know genetics aren't, like, new. But it's freaking me out.

She already knows the value of a hot tub.

LT is (finally effing) here!

Madison Jane Taylor

Born 10 August 2008 at 9:13 am (EST)
8 lbs., 11 ounces - 22" long

Reports from the scene say she: has a full, black head o' hair, blue eyes, really big feet & hands, and eats like a pig. And clearly, after showing up a week late, she's already her own woman. Let the games begin.

She's healthy and her mom is doing well.

More when I have it.

Only 21 days to go!

Welcome back, Seniors.

The opening ceremony ...

... of the 2008 Olympics was absolutely mesmerizing.

LT gets a pass.

The whole 08/08/08 birthday thing would have been cool. But I wouldn't want to share a birthday with Clay Aiken's baby, either.

You have my permission to hold out for the rest of the night.

(Update 08/08/08, 11:35p (EST)) - Oh damn! She's in labor.
(Update 08/09/08, 11:35a (EST)) - Big effing faker. Still no baybay.

All right, LT

I respect your right to take your time. And like I said yesterday, I can see why you'd put off entering the world.

But you realize the excessive tardiness makes you a little bit of an asshole, right? (Not that I don't already love you for it.)

For the love of God, NOOOOO

Please, please, PLEASE do not allow cell phone use on airplanes.

I'm getting a headache just thinking about it.

Nope. Still no baybay.

I'm not sure what exactly it is that LT is waiting for, but I'll assume he/she has his/her reasons for the delay.

I mean, knowing what I know about life now, I'm really not sure why I came out so damn early.

Gay-Marriage Opponents To Boycott McDonald's

The story is a month old, but as a non-Republican, I'm sure you have read that I get all of my news from The Daily Show. They just told me about it today.

I'm also not one of the 2.8 million people on the e-mail alert system of the American Family Association. Although I am considering signing up so I can (act like a bratty child and) throw support behind everything they boycott.

And with that, while running errands this weekend, I'll stop at a drive-through for a big, gay cheeseburger. And a Hi-C orange drink.

Ba-da ba ba baaaaaa ... I'm lovin' it.

LT's a no show.

Thought he/she'd make him/herself known today, this being the due date (and his/her dad's birthday) and all.

Guess not. Stay tuned.

Happy bday, J. Sorry you didn't get a baby. (Hopefully you got some nice socks or something, though.)

Jesus loves Bingo.

It's been a little over 8 weeks so it was time again for a blood donation. As I usually do, I signed up to donate at a blood drive, rather than go to the donation center, just because I like to check out the different places that host them.

To date, I've been to three different community centers, a couple Elk's lodges, and two churches.

This time, I was in the St. Patrick's Church in Rodeo, CA. I didn't think they'd care that I was a heathen because I have really good veins.

I usually read while I donate. (I'm a quick bleeder, so I never get too far.) But I never want to read while I'm at the canteen, because I feel rude ignoring people who offer me free grape juice and Nutter Butters. So, I chatted a bit and checked out the room. Typical church recreation room fare - stained glass, tall arched ceilings, posterboard with scriptures written in Crayola marker.

But the decoration at the end of the room was my favorite. Hanging on the walls on either side of the massive stage - a statue of a praying Mary, and a Bingo scoreboard.

How's that for symmetry?

What da heck?

I awoke this morning with a knot of some sort next to my nose. It would appear some type of insect decided to snack on my face as I slept last night.

So far, neither ice nor ointment has been helpful. I'm hoping my doctor can come up with a better option on Monday (if it hasn't gone away by then.)